FACT: Black bears weigh between 200 and 500 pounds. Brown bears weigh between 300 and over 1000 pounds. Black bears run away from you. Brown bears run at you. When attacked by a bear, simply lie still on the ground and cover your face and head with your hands. When the bear is finished batting you around and mauling you, contact the U.S. Forest Service.
JIM. STOP PUTTING MY STAPLER IN JELLO! I'M TELLING MICHAEL.
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